The Fire that Consumes All
by livvyham
Summary: The guilt was like a living creature under his skin, a constant presence that just reminded him of his own weakness, his inability to protect those he loved. Spoilers for 2x12. Pre-Sterek. Quick one-shot.


Scott had left with Allison, Isaac with Peter and Derek, and Lydia with Jackson. Left alone, in more ways than one, Stiles got into his jeep and slowly started driving home, his breathing becoming shallow as a great weight seemed to settle on his chest. He couldn't go home and see his dad, see the sadness and anger in his eyes at the cuts and bruises on his face. Couldn't pretend he was alright again. He turned the car around, ignoring the illegal U turn and driving towards the forest. He needed a chance to just be by himself, physically as well as emotionally that he seemed to always feel.

It was dark, slightly windy, but Stiles didn't care as he got out of his car and started walking. It didn't matter how far he went, or where he ended up, as long as he was able to collapse and just let everything out. It had been building for so long, gathering in his chest and almost ready to burst out from his body. The guilt was like a living creature under his skin, a constant presence that just reminded him of his own weakness, his inability to protect those he loved.

Dropping in the middle of who-knows-where, curling up against a large oak tree, he tried to even his breath as the tears slipped down his face. The guilt, that horrid monster inside of him, was scratching his insides, making it hard to take the needed air. Logically he knew it was a panic attack, but he couldn't help but feel that it was Karma.

It had started with his inability to leave curiosity alone. He'd made Scott come with him to find the missing half of the body. Forced his best friend to do that and started a chain of events that had altered his friend's life. Essentially ruining it and dooming his friend with a forbidden love that would forever be unattainable. Scott getting bitten was all his fault. Every single thing that happened because Scott was a werewolf happened because Stiles had put him in that position. He had hurt his friend so much, and yet Scott couldn't see that, too trusting in him.

And now things had just gone downhill. If Scott had never gotten bitten, Jackson would never have found out and turned into a Kanima, only to kill more people. Lydia wouldn't have gotten attacked by Peter, haunted by nightmares and seeing things that threatened to break her. Allison wouldn't have worried about her families secret, her mother probably still being alive because Scott would never have been a wolf.

His dad, his poor father, would never had to deal with a lying son. He deserved better than that. Not some screw up kid who'd helped kill his mom and was now working his way around to everyone close to him. Everyone he touched was destined to die, everything Stiles' fault. He meddled, got caught in the middle of things, and just ruined them. The night at the police station he was unable to stop Matt from hurting his father, the one person he had promised to keep protected from the supernatural. But Stiles was poison, infecting everyone around him.

Sobs ripped from his body and he gasped out for air, desperate for the life support that breathing provided. But was it really worth it? Stiles didn't deserve to live. He ruined lives. He broke people's hearts. He was useless, a problem and a bother. He did nothing right, nothing good. Grabbing his head tightly in her fingers, he felt the pang from the bruises on his face. Gerard had been right.

It had been a warning to him, a command to stop meddling with fires when he was getting burned and burning those around him. Gerard had hissed that Stiles was worthless, a defenceless human who never knew when to back out of things. His father paid the price of his stupidity, his friends were ruined because of his hand in their lives. Nothing was safe from the fire that Stiles was.

It wasn't even as if he could just leave either. He would break his father further, cause Scott to crumble from the lack of his best friend. There was no escaping this life without hurting more people, possibly so bad that they were no longer sane. Now he had to endure his life, watching the world around him go up in flames, knowing it was all him that caused this and being unable to stop it. Forced to watch it all destroy, the pain and torment he would cause others. Useless, so damn useless.

Stiles choked out as he sobbed, tears pouring down his face as he gasped for air between sobs. All his fault, every single thing. Defenceless, human, worthless Stiles. It hurt so much, a whole in his chest. He was so broken, so ruined that now he turned to ruin others. And he couldn't stop it ever. He cried out, wanting justice, not knowing how to stop the world falling around him. How was he supposed to help others? He had been right when he told his dad he was no hero. He was the villain, so subtle and oblivious to those around him that they would never connect him to their problems. It was his fault, all of it.

So caught up in his own thoughts, he didn't hear the movement next to him, or the red eyes that found his pitiful form mourning for those he'd lost, those he'd ruined and those who would be affected by him in the future. The fully formed wolf snuffled out of the bushes and approached the sobbing mess. When the cold, wet nose nudged against his forearm, Stiles looked up with puffy, red eyes.

"Derek." He said softly, recognising the alpha even in his fully wolf form. The alpha pushed against his arm and Stiles shook his head, tears dripping down from the movement. "I'm no good, Derek. Not worth it." His voice broke as he bent his head back into his hands, his body curled up and arms wresting on his knees. But Derek was persistent in pushing against the teen, nudging himself forcefully until he slipped his head into Stiles' lap.

There was a moment, a pause in time as if Stiles was trying to figure out the motives behind the action. Bright red eyes watched him carefully, and Stiles pulled his head back until his head rested against the rough tree trunk. His legs stretched out slowly in front of him. Tentative fingers slipped into the course black fur of the alpha, feeling the warmth that came from the wolf and burying deep as if to anchor himself to it.

The weight, the guilt that always seemed to be moving underneath his skin, pulled away. It was a slow progress, and it didn't disappear completely, but the pressure lifted enough for him to actually breathe, to see the world a little clearer. Derek moved until most of his body was on Stiles' lap, sharing the warmth and the comfort that came with it.

Silence was unusual around Stiles, but he couldn't speak if his life depended on it. He didn't want to break the silence between the two of them. It wasn't awkward, it was a source of comfort, a reassurance to each other that things might not be alright now, but they could be. Petting Derek almost unknowingly, Stiles relaxed and felt the forest around him soak up his worries. It was a temporary fix, but it allowed him the chance to just breathe. And he couldn't ask for much more.

The half-moon was in the middle of the sky, casting the forest in a waxy white light, ever so soft but peaceful. Eyes slipping shut, body shutting down from exhaustion, Stiles felt himself slip down slightly, curling himself around the warmth of the wolf, burying his face into Derek's fur and just keeping close. A soft rumble came from Derek's chest as he pushed closer to the young boy, his own body relaxing and just letting them rest. In no time the wolf was asleep, curled protectively around the boy who dared run with them.

**A/N I had to. I had to write after this episode. My only complaint (well the only one I'll focus on right now) was Stiles. So much shit he's been going through and then the finale happened but nothing really Stiles related. He's been breaking so much during the show and I needed to write this and just let him cry it out. The point isn't that Derek is going to fix everything or that he magically heals it all, but I think the comfort he provides more than anything. **

**But I can imagine Derek being there, helping. Not fixing, but making it a little easier. Allowing Stiles to just breathe for a moment. Because Stiles deserves it. He does so much for others, gives himself the most criticism and yet forgets that being human is okay, that it's okay for him to not be able to hold everything up. **

**I dunno. I'm just rambling right now. I've possibly got no clue what I'm going on about and possibly so does no one else. Surprise! Another long authors note! Ugh, I'm bad at this! Anyways, let me know what you guys think of this. I want to hear feedback! How's my writing? Has it improved or am I just keeping the same terrible habits? I want to improve so I'd love to hear your thoughts! **


End file.
